hey whats up fellow bloggers, i know i havent been on here for a while but things have just been so crazy and hectic. The combination of summer school and work has been kicking my ass but im almost finished so thats good. I am also in the process of purchasing my first house. To think i cant by an acoholic beverage in this country but i can buy a house. I am actually trying to buy two houses but that might be a problem, but whatever the case i hope to have a house by the end of July..... actually i better have a house by the end of oJuly or im homeless....again. Anyway there has been a lot of changes in my life.. I think i came to a revelation that i am going to try to stop talking to guys, not that i am going to switch teams and become a lesbian, its just that i am going to take a breather. I realized how much time, effort, emotions i put into guys and it seems like a waste. No matter how nice you are to a guy they are just going to do you wrong anyway. i have been talking on and off with my ex fiance and nothing has changed we still fight and we cant get a long for more than a few hours. I am trying to back off this guy that i caught feelings for. I dont know I feel bad that i caught feelings for him, but i wouldnt have if he didnt lead me on to catching feelings for him. the whole situation was confusing. I already knew the end when we met, but i guess that didnt make it any easier. I knew he would just get bored of me eventually and find some skinnny bitch. Oh well i should have better things to occupy myself. I just feeel bad because it feels like i am loosing a friend. .....Actually we were probably never really friends anyhow. Dont get me wrong he was a great guy and he helped me through a lot, he was always there when i needed someone, and he always made me feel better when i was sad. But i cant say that we were friends, because i think back and its like what have i ever done for him. He has never came to me when he had problems, he went to his ex instead, so its like what kind of friend is that if the couldnt come to me. Anyway it doesnt matter , its in the past, and i realized the truth. And i also realized about west indian men and how trfiling they can be. My friend power from NY was supposed to come stay with me last weekend and this weekend. I saw him in Ny last week and it was cool, but this weekend he wanted to come at some strange hour after work and he expected me to have cooked food ready when he got there, no beef, no pork. Ya serious, me ras....i just told him to forget it and he can stay in NY. I guess the only reason i was trying to talk to him is because it is nice to meet another Guyanese (that is not related to you) as well as he is a great great contractor that does faboulous work especially in restoration... and i wanted him to fix up my house, but now i dont even think its really worth all this stupidness. Anyway life is confusing and i am trying to figure out how to do this video documentary that is due in about an hour. Until later.. Much luv and respect ~1~
